THIRTEEN

My parents were very possessive and protective of me since the day I was born. In the old tapes, I hear them saying to my elder siblings ‘shh let her sleep, shh let her eat, hey! Look she is walking’ etc. I was always dressed to impress with clips pretty shoes whereas my motherboard was adorning saliva and vomit especially designed by me. My bodyguard who once used to leave house without anything in hand now carried me and my necessity bag. I used to cry, laugh, play and sleep according to my mood. Every birthday was full of gifts, luxury treatments. But soon I was twelve, and they were more concerned about me & my grades; I started hearing ‘no’ for many things. A year went like this. I was confused.  I started questioning but to my dismay they said you will understand one day.

The moment I turned thirteen and received ‘stupidity’ as my gift, I came to realize that my life was controlled by a coordinating body which made me annoyed, giving me an another idea that I don’t have any freedom or any decision-making capacity. Little did I know that there is a reason that this coordinating body existed in my life. The baby who never said ‘no’ when forced to eat anything, now, after becoming a teenager said ‘no’ to every meal that same chef prepared, never bothering to know how much effort she took to make the pasta from scratch, so that brats like us would not eat instant made or market made. But being an ungrateful teenager, I discouraged the nurse, who, in my childhood used to bandage my scars, is now getting injured and scarred by my words. Once  upon a time, family meetings were called to get  permission for attending  birthday parties. But now i don’t even care to inform the authority about being home late or not even coming at times. Life to us became more adventurous when we started fighting and arguing for everything. In my childhood, I remember asking my personal stylist what was I supposed to wear for my birthday parties. Now, I don’t even tell her what I have purchased because I find it interfering. Further, I add that she doesn’t seem to have any fashion sense but yet when I am supposed to get ready in traditional wear, I raid her wardrobe without her permission and she feels proud!! The man, who my whole childhood was a loyal tea party friend, personal horse, piggy back partner, all time driver, watchman, and superman is now just an ATM in my view. I used to lay awake till the man of the house came and wished me goodnight.  On Saturdays and Sundays, he was scheduled to be with me for the whole day without any breaks. His friends were not allowed in the house; even though he was dead tired, he would play with me. But now I wait till he sleeps so I can sneak out of the house. On weekends I feel why is he awake ,why he never goes out with his friends?? Egoistic me never understood that he was still tuned to my schedule though mine was changed. I used to tag along whenever  there was a market visit or a restaurant plan out (I never took any permission) and regarding our destination it always used to be my decision. Now I feel caged, and most importantly, am embarrassed to go out with the same coordinating body. Whenever I was ill, she used to keep on cooking my favourite delicacies even though she was tired of being awake the whole night because of me. But when she was ill, I used to go for my peaceful sleep .

Then I went far away to fetch my freedom: college, university, job!! And soon It was time to get settled in my life and their role was replaced by my friends, colleagues and the love of my life. Now I was one of  the coordinating bodies. I thought I won’t become controlling as mine were and felt successful when my toddler followed my instructions without argument. In return, I gave my child all the things I was unable to get. It included an idiot box , 5” luxury screen etc. the list goes on. But to my misery, the success that I enjoyed so quickly happened to be short-lived. Soon my worst fear came like a tornado when my kid became a brat and asked for more and more. Things came back to me when the thirteenth birthday went away,  and god gave my child the same gift that I received. Realization came unannounced like a rock and knocked me off. I was so enraged and embarrassed of myself that I dialed the number which once used to decor my screen as missed call, the number which used to scare me and anger me the most in my college days, the number which I felt was time consuming ,the number which was only dialed during festivals or occasions, it was today my only hope and on the third ring it was picked by the same voice that once sang lullaby for me. But for the first time  I asked her how  she was, after 15 years. She replied the same ‘I am good’ and then asked the most dreaded question of my life ‘how are you ?’ How was I! Disappointed, confused and as usual in a soup. That was the day when I realized why they controlled me, why all my demands were not fulfilled. Finally the role reversal taught me that parenthood is an art, a coursework which no institute can teach, no book can make us imbibe. It can only be learnt from a parent. Today I received the taste of my own medicine and understood the meaning of that “one day” which I questioned at the mere age of 12 out of curiosity.